From few jobless times I have spent on social media, more especially Facebook, I have realized that you do not judge a girl by her profile picture until you click “View All”, then you will face the puzzle as you start punching your computer keyboard and be wondering what’s wrong with your piano. Yes, it’s as bad as that…no resemblance. The titles you see on such photo-shopped caricatures will be, “Elegushi things on point…me and my baby rep…” She will be standing like a duck that just deactivated some eggs…looking for attention. If no one clicks the like buttons on her pictures, or comments “baby you are hot”, as long as the pictures stay there, she rots in depression.I saw one on Facebook with many ridiculing comments, I had to comfort her; “don’t mind them baby, you are not ugly, it’s the economy of Nigeria that is ugly.”
The question is; who are you trying to impress by living an inferior life?A lady came to me one day, “Nna, Michael said we are going to see his parents next week…I’m scared.” She’s fat, and dark…people believed her to be ugly and she believed them too and always dressed to show forth her battered personality. Then I asked her, “why are you scared?” She wanted to sing to cover up because she noticed that I was angry at that statement. I told her to shut up that her voice was worse than her problems, then I continued; “you have imagined how Michael’s aged parents will jump their ten-foot fence as they see you coming in glory? You may be right but their bones are weak for such an adventure…they have no other option than to sit their wrinkled butts on the floor and be crying for help.” She was expecting me to encourage her, and I did.Chikina! What else could I say? Tell her not to worry that Jesus is her husband? My Lord is not a loser!Amen.
You spend all your limited life on earth being sensitive to people’s opinions about yourself…withdrawing from the crowd because you are not good enough…you train your mind to pick imperfections about others just to feel good…little compliments make you walk like a peahen…you must really have a boil under your ego.Commitment…carriage…elegance, talents and guts are what make a lady, not sugar worded gibberish. Men will like to make you feel inferior just to get your cookies. Don’t forget that God made man first, man is just a rough drafted copy of a human being; a woman is the edited version…perfect, well proofread. If your so called boyfriend laughs at the choices you make to bring you low and take your cookies, laugh at him too because he is one of your choices. If he calls you ugly, be proud, beauty dies and fades away but “ugly” lasts forever. Original lasts longer…everything God made is original; it doesn’t fade away. Stand straight for who you are! Live your damn life baby!
I have learnt to make jokes of myself because I’m yet to see someone who is just as me out of about seven billion people on earth…I’m not on your payroll…you don’t feed me and my family…I don’t need your compliments to know I’m good…all I care is to work hard and stay focused on my destiny…Nobody cares how ugly you are if you are successful…success is not about looks but attitude. Success has swag…Who are you? I don’t know…So, why should I care? Why should you give someone permission over your life? If you want to be eternally useless in life, stay around people with no self-confidence…they will ruin you and make you worthless.This is pure cowardice.
Listen. You have been stressed. You have been depressed and heartbroken…you have dwelt so long in loneliness, battered with rejections, contemplated suicide because of trails and pains…you have not only walked but run through the valley of shadows of death and feared many evils, and you are now crawling into abyss, all because you allow some fools into your life.“If you don’t have enemy, in whose presence will God prepare the table?”Live your damn life baby! If they beef you, let them go on vacation to Syria.
Listen. You may not be the smartest…cutest…most intelligent…cherished. Beauty is not the reflection on your mirror but how you feel about yourself. “A boy will love a girl for what she looks like; a man will love a girl for who she is.” Beauty has many layers; the outer one you see is just the least. Confidence is the sexiest part of a woman’s life; where is it? In her spirit…Live your damn live baby!
Listen. All through my life, I have had the foolish and the wise as friends…I mistakenly associated with two-faced people to the extent that it was too difficult for me to decide which face to slap first. I learnt from all anyway. I made my mistakes, I learnt from them. I have equally learnt one thing, if you want to learn from a fool, be a fool…you will learn how not to be a fool…if you equally want to learn from the wise, be a fool and you will be a mastery of wisdom…it pays to be foolish. 1 Cor. 4:10; “We are fools for Christ, but are so wise in Christ!” You don’t live to impress lest you get depressed…you live to be, and be nothing other than yourself. Be yourself and live your damn life baby!
One thing I have learnt as a young writer, to add value to me, is not to allow knowledge pass me by…no matter how odd it may be. Nothing builds confidence like knowledge. It is the pivot of success. I’m yet to see a woman of confidence who is not a woman of virtue. If you don’t have the foundation which is knowledge and you walk shoulders high, that’s pride…you are a walking scarecrow.Confidence goes with humility and politeness…it is knowing that you are important but not feeling important. That’s my definition of foolishness above. Be a fool and live your damn life baby!