Everything you know about Love is wrong

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m glad to disappoint you again, now, on whatever you believe about unconditional love (intense feeling of affection and care towards another person). We live in a conditional world where romance is conditional. Every action we take is conditional. “I love you.” The “love’ there is a verb, and verb is an action word.

Every act of love is built on expectation, if not for anything else, happiness. However you want to put it, the essence of life is happiness. When you are not happy about your life, it starts losing values…it starts dying. The question now is “what is it that makes me happy”?

You cannot tell me that you are in a relationship based on unconditional love…if that’s what you profess; your lie is unforgiveable. Relationship exists because of the expectation of happiness it can guarantee, through meeting your needs (materially or spiritually). If romantic love were unconditional, there would not have been any break-ups as you would have no reason to move out of the relationship in the first instance because it lacks boundaries.  Everyone would end up getting married to the first person they date. Why? “Unconditional”. If you have feelings for a person and discover eventually that the person is an armed robber, rapist, murderer and not good in bed, within a twinkle of an eye, I guarantee you, the feelings will die, straight up. But unconditional love expects you to stay glued to them.

All couples to be have their expectations in marriage – God fearing, honest, caring, romantic individuals who can make them either a complete man or woman. And when you finally see the one who meets up with the needs, you come and tell me that your love for each other is unconditional? Mtchewwwww! Shift jor…

Every relationship must be beneficial to both parties. When the expectations of the relationship are going well, that is, when both parties meet up with their needs in the relationship, we mistake it for love. We are wrong. That’s happiness.  In this case, love becomes an illusion. When one party benefits more than the other, it weakens the foundation of the relationship. The happiness starts dying, thus, the end of it all in the short run. So, what sustains a relationship is not love but mutual happiness, if there could be love, happiness would make a way for it. You can’t love when you are not happy with the relationship; that’s deceit if you do. There is a potential explosion within. The day it would explode, you would realize that love is dead.

In the world today, we pursue shadows and abandon the substance. What is the shadow? Unconditional love… What is the substance? Happiness…The salt of any relationship is happiness, not unconditional love which is nothing but illusion.

CHUKWUEZUE NNABUIKE

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